10 Reasons I Couldn't Stay Offline... or How Shadi Won A Bet

Dear Internet and iPhone, 

I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t quit you. Why can’t I quit you?! 

I realized that we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. And I thought we both needed some space. So I tried to break it off with you; I vowed to power down and stay offline, even for just one day. I even bet Shadi that I could do it. I thought I could! But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t let you go three weeks before finals. Not even for a day and especially not on the weekend! 

So, here are the 10 reasons that I just couldn't stay offline.

Full disclose:  some excuses are better than others.  

10. I have no alarm clock because I have a phone that does that for me. 

Image courtesy of Imgur

I couldn’t power down my iPhone because without it I could have slept through my exercise class?! I paid for that class! Next time I make a bet about going offline for a whole day, I will make sure that my phone is not my alarm clock. And I will make sure that I have no important morning events to attend. But in retrospect, it would probably be best if I just get an alarm clock.  Rookie mistake, Jobey.  

9. This weekend I sat down and did some serious planning. 

Image courtesy of Pinterest

I am 18 credits shy of a BA (Hons) degree and I really want to graduate soon. I spent hours on Beartracks looking at classes trying to organize next year’s schedule. It was kind of important I do this schedule building right, like REALLy important, actually.  So of course, I needed the internet. How did people even register for classes before the internet? BY HAND?! ON PAPER?!

8. Candy Crush.

Image courtesy of Tumblr

7. At 2:00pm it dawned on me that I had to read a 42 page article. 

In Spanish. For the next day. 9:00 am the next day.  I was feeling guilty that I hadn’t been “offline” for basically any part of the day, so I walked to Rutherford Library and prepared myself to sit at a table (not a computer desk) where I hoped to read an actual book. BUT, it turned out that the article was only available online. So there went that. I walked home and sat at the dining room table. Reading. Yep, you guessed it, online.   

Image courtesy of naptwonpin.com

6. My brother was coming to visit from Saskatchewan. 

He was supposed to stay at my house, but I had no idea when he was coming and he had no idea where I lived. My phone was a requirement; I had to make some phone calls and needed to send several text messages to figure out what the heck was going on.  I guess if I had my phone off I would have been out of the loop, he would have remained lost, and I’m sure that my family would not have been pleased. 

5. I decided to try Tinder for the first time on Friday afternoon.  

Image courtesy of Frabz.com

OF ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, I DECIDED TO TRY ONLINE DATING THE SAME WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OFFLINE. Oh, the irony. It is just too much. 

4.  I had 6 assignments due the following week. 

Most of which required the internet. Three assignments had to be submitted via Eclass. Doh. And when I wasn’t working on my assignments I was texting my classmates and updating them on how much I wasn’t working on my assignments. Such is life. 

3. Snapchat. 

Sooooo many snaps of Crashed Ice, parties, and the lazy day that followed. Admittedly, I sent one or two... (or five). 

2. Did I mention that I downloaded an ONLINE dating app? 

Actual tinder conversation. Bahaa!

1.  One final excuse: My best friend kept me online all night sharing the most amazing stories. 

You may know my best friend. She’s kind of a big deal, her name is Netflix. 

In some cases, I couldn’t stay offline for legitimate reasons. School is just too important at such a crunch time in my degree. But mostly, I simply didn’t want to stay offline. Whatever the case, I lost a bet. And I’m bitter. When did we all become so dependent on our smartphones and the Internet? 

Though, I’m not going to make any bets in the near future, I am going to consciously make an effort to take more of my life offline. Plus It’s starting to feel like spring, so I don’t need to be stuck in the house all the time! YAY! 

Yes, it has become evident that many aspects of our lives are online. Grandmas now have Facebook and babies know how to use Youtube. Even the newest edition of the UAlberta Calendar is only available online!  But losing this bet has proved something to me:  I should be able to go at least ONE day offline. I couldn’t do it, mostly because I didn’t want to do it.  It is a refreshing reminder that there is a lot to see in this world. Instead of watching nature documentaries, I should explore the city and document nature… rather than smiling at my screen, I think it would be lovely if we all smiled at each other more often. Because really… Who needs virtual friends  and dating apps when I’ve got a campus full of beautiful, intelligent, and successful people right in front of me every day!  In today’s technology soaked world, I’ve just got make the decision.  

Real life > Smart phone. 

Hopefully you'll be able to do a little (or a lot) better than I did if you take the Earth Hour Challenge this weekend.

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About the Author

Jobey

Howdy. I’m Jobey-- a fourth (+2) year BA student studying Spanish Language and Literature and Women’s and Gender Studies. I don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up, but if I had to choose, I would probably say Shakira because her hips don’t lie. And honesty is important to me. 

I have two obsessions that keep my heart perpetually pleased and my bank account endlessly empty: shoes and travel.  To date, I have visited 14 countries (studied in three!) and I own more shoes than I care to publicly admit. 

I am totally stoked to be a member of the 2014 YouAlberta Blogging team! I hope that my unique educational experiences will help me find and highlight all of the fascinating students we have on campus.  Be advised: If you’re out there and you’re awesome, I will find you. And we will talk!  :)