Tuesday, 27 December 2016

11 Thoughts You'll Probably Have While Waiting for your Grades

What it's like to check your grades

Sweaty palms. Racing heartbeat. Do I click it? Just click it! No wait. Wait! Take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world, worst-case scenario you feel depressed for a few days, or ruin your entire holiday, or cry alone in the bathroom for a few hours…or don’t graduate. Just do it! Ok here goes. *Click…

Now what happens? This is that cliché moment where the whole world stops and nothing else exists, nothing but the weary gaze between your red, sleep-deprived eyes and the computer screen. You will finally find out whether all the sleep, personal hygiene, fun, and sanity you sacrificed during the term were worth it. I really hope that I am not the only one whose mind has been plagued with these thoughts while I wait for my grades.

So, how many of these thoughts have you had while waiting to check your grades?

1. Simplifying the Situation 

Letters aren't scary
Illustration by H. Brodie

“I mean, at the end of the day it’s just a letter. Haha, why am I freaking out so much over a simple letter? I refuse to allow myself to be victimized by a mere letter.”

2. Summoning the inner Houdini 

Pulling a D out of a hat
Illustration by H. Brodie

*Covers screen with hand and slowly reveals the grade, as if this will magically change fate. “Oh that looks like the left side of a B! Ohhhh Ohh! Abracadabra…. yup that’s a D.”

3. Putting the Past Behind You 

Shake it off
Illustration by H. Brodie

The deed is done, there nothing I can do about it. I can shake this off. I can forget about it. I wonder what outfit should I pick for my GPA’s funeral?

4. Delaying Gratification

Wait for it

I want to check really badly, but what’s the hurry? I’ll just wait a couple of days anyways.

5. The Grades that like to take their time 

The Where's Waldo of Grades
Illustration by H. Brodie
Then again there are the times where you aren’t given the luxury to delay gratification because you mark seems to be pulling a classic “Where’s Waldo?”

6. Walking out of the class after finishing the exam 

The Study Equation for Hope

“Deep down I know what grade I should be expecting. I know that the only studying I did was a 1-hour cram session at 3AM. However, I also know that I firmly believe in miracles.”

7. How do I tell the parents 

Negotiating with siblings
Illustration by H. Brodie

*formulates epic plan with siblings, “Okay, you start talking about this, and then do this and make sure to laugh a lot so that we create a very relaxed atmosphere, then I’ll casually mention it and hope they don’t hear me. Deal?”

8. Remaking your entire graduation plan 

Illustration by H. Brodie

“So the withdrawal deadline is Friday at midnight, so if I get less than a 50.001% I can withdraw from this class and retake it in Spring term (which I will obviously ace because I basically know everything) and use the A+ that I will get to resurrect my GPA. Phew!”

9. What did everyone else get? 

Bell Curve
Illustration by H. Brodie
I mean everyone else failed too since the average was like pshhh…like….80 or something. So, I’m obviously not alone. And besides, all of my friends failed too. So there is nothing to worry about. It’s obviously the exam, not me.”

10. To ruin or not to ruin the holidays 

What did Santa bring you?
Illustration by H. Brodie
“I could save checking until after the holidays, but then I will be preoccupied and nervous for my entire break. What if the mark isn’t that bad? No, who am I kidding?”

11. Coming to terms 

Wine either way
Illustration by H. Brodie
Either way, this will end with a bottle of wine, so why bother freaking out? I’ll work in retail for the rest of my life if I really have to.

The Aftermath:

Now don’t get me wrong. At the end of the day, your life does not amount to one letter on a transcript. And to be honest, there are multiple occasions when I expected to get a horrible grade only to find out that I didn’t do as badly as I had thought I would! So study hard, stay focused, and hang in there! An A+ is waiting for you to achieve it. Or an A. Or maybe even  B… there is nothing wrong with a good old respectable B.

Originally published on December 17, 2015.

Niabi - YouAlberta Contributor

Niabi is a fourth year BA student double majoring in English and Spanish. She’s a relentless optimist, hazardously curious, and loves a good laugh (her friends would say that she has a juvenile sense of humour). When not jamming out to Reggaeton, you can find her trying to cuddle every dog she sees, or serving herself “eyes-are-too-big-for-your-stomach” helpings.


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