Friday, 24 February 2017

Why I Suck at Mornings, or Why Mornings Suck

Why Mornings Suck

As we all grow older, we inevitably transition into a phase in our lives where we have to wake up early for the majority of the week, if not all of it. If you’re anything like me, you’re being dragged into that phase kicking and screaming.

I hate waking up early. So much. Any wake up time before 10 am elicits a very unpleasant response from my body, and it’s one that happens in stages. I’m going to detail those stages for your enjoyment here, using my 7 a.m. wake up time for class on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as an example. Revel in the difficulty I have waking up, friends!

7:00 – 7:15 a.m.

This is the stage where my body and mind are nowhere near awake. They’re both fully in shock about being pulled from their slumber. Instead of getting right out of bed, I usually use this 15-minute timeframe to browse social media – partly because I want to check out what all my friends are doing, and partly because I really don’t want to get out of bed.

7:15 – 7:25 a.m.

I finally drag myself out of bed and hop in the shower. Shower thoughts include: “Why am I awake at this time?” “I should really start going to bed earlier,” and “Do I really need to go to my 9 am class today?”

7:25 – 7:45 a.m.

This is the time is when I’m normally curled up under a blanket on my couch, fighting the urge to fall back asleep. It’s a battle I do win, most of the time.

7:45 – 8:00 a.m.

I finally decide that if I lie under the blanket any longer I’m going to fall asleep and not even go to class, so I begrudgingly withdraw from its warmth and start getting ready for my walk to the LRT.

8:00 – 8:30 a.m.

My walk to the LRT station. Thoughts usually pertain to how tired I am and how difficult this is going to be whenever I eventually get a full-time job.

8:30 – 8:50 a.m.

Because I’m still very cranky, people who stand on the LRT escalators and slow walkers in Hub Mall annoy me much more than they would if I was making this journey at two in the afternoon.

8:50 – 9:00 a.m.

Once again, my thoughts usually pertain to whether or not I actually need to stay for class, and if any of my fellow students would find it weird if I nodded off in my seat. I’m sure most of them would understand. Probably.

9:00 – 9:50 a.m.

I force myself to stay awake because I have to take notes. Sometimes it’s very difficult.

9:50 – 10:30 a.m.

Since this is my only class of the day, my journey home begins less than an hour after I arrive on campus. It’s mostly filled with me calculating whether I can afford to take a nap in the afternoon or if I have too much to do.

10:30 a.m. – 12:00 pm

I eat lunch, and then afterwards I really decide whether I think a nap is necessary.

Noon – 3:00 p.m.

If I do take a nap, this is when it usually happens. The frequency isn’t as great as all my histrionics before this would lead you to believe, probably for my own good.

3:00 – 10:00 p.m.

I go about the rest of my day.

10:00 – 10:30 p.m.

This is a crucial point in my night where I usually make the decision to either start winding down for bed, or continue to stay up and do whatever I’m still doing. Unfortunately, it’s almost always the latter.

10:30 p.m. – 12:30 a.m.

Time when I should really be in bed but I’m usually not.

12:30 – 1:00 a.m.

I finally crawl into bed, fully knowing the cycle will repeat itself, and also fully knowing that I probably won’t learn my lesson for a long time.

And there you have it. If you see me on campus with a sad or frustrated look on my face, it’s probably because I had to wake up before 10 am. Maybe someday I’ll grow out of this phase, but it probably won’t be any time soon. (Unless you’re my future employer – then I can totally do mornings.)

Zach - YouAlberta Contributor

Zach is a sixth-year Sociology major with a creative writing minor. Scared of being a real adult and being awake before noon. He can be found either eating, sleeping, meandering in the river valley, or watching a Toronto Blue Jays game. He misses having long hair because now none of his hats fit properly.

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